This post is a pretty vulnerable one. I want you to know that I am a huge proponent of being real and authentic in hopes that it helps others to do the same. I express my faith beliefs here, but I want you to know, you don't have to believe the same thing for us to be friends. You are loved and accepted no matter what place you are coming from! :)

I went through a season of delay recently that made me question everything. I questioned whether I was good enough, I questioned if I was headed the right direction, questioned my voice & songwriting & wrestled with some major fear.

I got prayer from a few friends and told them that I was majorly wrestling with confidence & fear. That no matter how much I told myself or other people told me I was good enough, it never sunk in!

They prayed for me and one of my friends got a powerful word for me that I've held onto, moving into a very busy season. She said "I feel like God is saying that you see yourself as a Mouse but He sees you as a Lion!" Hearing those words resonated so deeply in my heart and I realized, I was looking for affirmations from other people, when really I needed to hear those things from GOD. To know that HE sees me as strong, capable, bold, and courageous. That even though I FEEL small and insignificant, it doesn't mean thats WHO I am.

THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING FOR ME.

I no longer walked into situations feeling insecure and small. I held my head high, knowing who I was. I had MANY situations to test this out and it wasn't fun, BUT in those moments when I was faced with something scary I heard the voice of God quietly but steadily say, "Remember Heather, You're a Lion, not a Mouse." What a reassurance! I know I can talk to anyone and be assured of who I am because of WHOSE I am.

All that being said... Since coming face to face with my identity, SO many things are opening up for me. Just go to my Tour Schedule Page & Video Page and you'll see!!

I think that God is very much about forming our character and Identity FIRST before He takes us into more, because He knows that if we have more first, we might not be ready for it! I am thankful I had that identity discovery before all I'm doing now because I would have felt very small and mousey heading into everything!

Want to see some cool things happening?!

I Just released a Single and Music Video for my song "Change Your Mind", a Song that I wrote for Blue Heart International, an Organization that is helping Victims of Human Trafficking right here in Sacramento! It was really cool teaming up with them on this song and video!

I also released another song about Motherhood called "Thrive". I made a super cute "day in the life" music video for it that follows me through daily life. It's not a professional music video but the sentiment remains the same!

You can find BOTH of those songs on Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes, Napster, Amazon & more!

I also Started an amazing Songwriter event called the Sacramento Songwriter Circle! It's a live music event that happens the 1st and 3rd Wednesdays of the month at Fig Tree Coffee! Artists perform in the round and answer questions from the host! It's been amazing and it's really thriving.

On top of that, we started a songwriter only Meet Up that happens Once a Month too! It's an incredible opportunity to learn and grow as a songwriter as well as share your music!

We recently started The Songwriter Circle Podcast (it's on iTunes & SoundCloud!) that has all the interviews from the Sacramento Songwriter Circle event

In my Element at the Songwriter Meet Up!

Sacramento Songwriter Circle Event at Fig Tree Coffee!

I also had a great opportunity to play at the Calaveras County Fair with my friend Danielo!

I also have a BUNCH of cool events I'm Hosting and playing at coming up this and next week!

I have also been heading up Jesus Culture Sacramento's Kids Ministry Worship Team, Building teams and growing community! It's been incredible to be apart of. Seeing the kids engage with God through worship is soooo powerful and encouraging!

I've been playing at The Sacramento Library's all over Sacramento for their Children's Story times! I feel like I'm living my best life when I get to do these! The kids are the cutest and I've applied a lot of what I've learned from Kids Worship to Story Time! Plus, I get paid. BEST JOB EVER.

The last thing I've been doing is Guest Leading worship at different Churches in Sacramento and at Women's Conferences & special events! It's been really great connecting with other churches in the area!!

See???!! It's A LOT!! BUT the crazy thing is I am balancing it all really well and I am LOVING EVERY SECOND. If I'm not doing music, I feel like a shaken pop bottle! I could explode! But I'm doing exactly what I love and feel like I'm making a difference in people's lives young and old.

What every you do, do it with your whole heart. See the people in front of you and love on them well. Get over yourself and get over your FEAR, because more times than not WE are the ones getting in our own way!

Face your fears, deal with them head on, then GO AFTER YOUR DREAMS!

So, the last few blog posts have been analogy's of "Walking Toward the Rain", then "Standing in the Rain", meaning walking toward the dream God has for me & Standing in the middle of the dream happening! (If you haven't already, go back & read those posts!)

Well, it's not all butterflies & roses doing your dream. I had a moment of "Wow!! I can't believe everything is happening and I actually get to do this dream that's been in my heart for over a year!" Then, The thunder rolled in the midst of the rain & the tone changed to fear & I thought "How am I going to do this?!?! Am I good enough?? How can I do this with kids?!" I had a panic moment that almost scared me away from what I was supposed to be doing. Most of it wrapped up in insecurity of "what are people going to think of me?" Or "who am I to think I can do something like this with 2 kids & do it well?" Especially in a season with a cranky toddler who is getting her 2 year old molars and testing me more than ever!

I'm telling you that voice of fear or the thunder can send you running, but you have to stand your ground in the midst of fear & DO IT AFRAID.

You see I'm not new to this concept of doing things Afraid. In fact, most of my music "career" has been BIG opportunities that I said yes to even though I was afraid & felt small & insignificant, but you know what? I did them! I didn't let my fear stop me!! Courage isn't the absence of fear, it's doing it in spite of being afraid!!

It's not easy though. The process can be grueling. For this I am constantly in prayer, surrendering my fears to the one that brings the rainbow 🌈 in the midst of the rain. God is true to His word & I have to TRUST His promises are true. That "He'll never leave or forsake me." That "He knows the plans He has for me.." Also, remembering the words that He's spoken over me & holding tight to them.

I had the most incredible experience at church on Sunday that is like a crazy full circle moment. Hang with me as I describe this crazy/cool God Story!

Me & my hubby Brett were at our Church Jesus Culture Sacramento & worshipping & all of a sudden Brett leaned over to me & started praying for me. He told me he saw a picture of my music being like a Joshua Tree in the Desert. Cool & Unique, like how people come from all over to just take pictures of these unique trees. They also THRIVE even in the desert because their root system is very extensive... Remember my desert picture of me walking through the desert toward the rain?! I resonated with that picture so well!

Also, When we in SoCal visiting friends a year ago, we pulled over to the side of the road to take pictures of the Joshua trees in the Mojave Desert! They were so cool & we were just captivated by them & kept looking up facts about them. At the time, I was reading my pastors book "ROOTED" & he talks about thriving no matter what season you're in because you are rooted in Jesus. That rooted people have extensive Root Systems with Jesus.

Get Banning's Book "Rooted" here 👇🏻

http://jesusculture.com/rootedbook/

All of that came back to my memory as Brett shared this picture with me!!

As Dean, one of our pastors got up to share the message, he told his story about dealing with disappointment in his life in ministry & his dreams. Me and Brett resonated with everything he was saying! He shared a verse out of PSALM 107:4 that leapt off the page at me.. IT WAS TALKING ABOUT THE DESERT.

"Some of you wandered for years in the desert,
    looking but not finding a good place to live,
Half-starved and parched with thirst,
    staggering and stumbling, on the brink of exhaustion.
*THIS PART THOUGH 😭* --> Then, in your desperate condition, you called out to God.
    He got you out in the nick of time;
He put your feet on a wonderful road
    that took you straight to a good place to live.
So thank God for his marvelous love,
    for his miracle mercy to the children he loves.
He poured great draughts of water down parched throats;
    the starved and hungry got plenty to eat."

Listen to the message here 👇🏻

https://jesusculture.com/sacramento/podcast/?listen=freedom-from-disappointment

Me and Brett went up to Dean to talk to him after the message & encourage him about how much his message spoke to us. We shared our story of disappointment of how we both gave up our dreams but how God has been giving us NEW dreams even in a desert season.

Not even a second later, I turn to leave & a woman is standing in front of me & she says "Hi! You don't know me, but I felt like God gave me a word for you!" Shocked, I said "ok.." she went on and said "I feel like God has placed a music & creative gifting in you & he wants to bless & use it!" -- I immediately broke down in tears! I told her, "thank you so much, you don't even know what that means to me! I'm a singer/songwriter & just started recording an EP & I've been really scared & that just means so much!!"

Can we all just say, "WOW."

I've never seen something spoken a year ago, come so full circle! I mean, I'm such a doubter, but now I don't know if I can doubt anymore! 😆

I think that's the thing you have to cling on to in the midst of fear. Not your insignificance & how small you feel, but HOW BIG God is!

But also, I think we don't really step into our power because WE DON'T KNOW WHO we are & WHOSE we are.

Gideon in the Old Testament was instructed to defeat an army of over 100,000 with 300 men. 😳 He was freaked out (as anyone would be!). But God let Gideon peek into the enemy camp to listen in on what they were saying about Gideon's army. And guess what?!?! The enemy was terrified because GOD was on their side!! That encouraged Gideon to know it was going to be ok! And guess what?!?! Gideon's army won & they didn't even have to fight! The Enemy army ended up turning on itself!

What if we realized WHO we are and WHOSE we are? What if we realized the enemy is scared to death of us walking out in our dreams because he knows how powerful we are? The thunder is just a scare tactic, but we can't let it scare us away from our dream!!

We have to remember God is on our side! That He is our strength when we are weak & faithful to His promises!

So, Dream Afraid. Conquer fear. Know WHO you are and WHOSE you are! You are more powerful than you know!!

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Update!!

I just got some DEMO'S that my producer Jeffrey Kunde is working on & I'm SO Excited you guys!!! It had my parents crying within seconds of hearing & just really moving in general. This is going to be big & hit hearts, I just know it! 💓🎶🎉👏😭💕✨