The Highs & The Lows.
These last few months have been a rollercoaster, full of high highs and low lows.
I released my 3 song EP called "The Life EP" on October 27th and it took sooo much to get everything in order to make it happen! This is the 4th project I've released on my own and I really went for it this time (and still going after it for that matter!)
Here's some of the High's:
- With the help of my friends Sara Castro, My husband Brett and my friend Elizabeth Hosford, I've been able to make custom merchandise pieces that I LOVE like coffee mugs, Coloring Pages, T-shirts and Water color Hand Lettered Lyric Art!
-I've played many awesome paying gigs and have made some really great connections and friends through them! The paying gigs have paid for things like my Coffee + Jesus Owl Mugs and T-shirts and a recording of a new song that has a LOT of promise!
-At those shows I sold out of physical Copies of Out of the Woods and Songs for Healing! I'm hoping to get more printed of those 2 CD's soon! The songs on those CD's are some of the "musical meat" that I usually play in my live shows.
-I signed with an awesome Music Licensing company that finds music for TV and Film with a possible Commercial spot in Europe for Mom Life in the works!!
-I released 2 Music Videos: Mom Life, which went semi-viral with 340 shares and over 38.4k views and a bunch of comments about how people are resonating with the song! Let me tell you, THAT MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME to know people are resonating with something I have written! Especially something as honest as Mom Life.
I also released The Good Life on Thanksgiving day and it turned out SO beautiful. The scenery and imagery captured the song really well and I felt super happy to be able to release it on Thanksgiving.
-I wrote an amazing follow up song to Mom Life, Called "Thrive" recorded it & made a "day in the life" video of it. Still finishing that one up and it should be released in January! I think this is one of my favorite songs that I've ever written and it's really raw and captures an emotional snapshot of where I am in my mom life right now. I'm really trying to find the balance between Surviving and THRIVING. It's not easy most days, but I'm figuring out it's just a season and I can make it!
-I emailed at least 1000+ music contacts and mom bloggers and got a few emails back! I heard back instantly from a few bigger Mom Bloggers and some smaller ones that Featured the Mom Life Music Video. I heard back from 2-3 music bloggers. It's hard to break in to the music blogging scene because they hear from so many people in a day, so to hear anything back is a miracle!
-I won the opportunity to play Mom Life for a professional songwriter and Music Publisher in Nashville and they loved it! The feedback from that session, REALLY got me thinking about the way I write and how I want to move forward in this business.
-I've bumped into people literally in the grocery store, on Instagram, at church or just friends who have told me how my music has resonated with them and it reminds me why I'm doing this.
-I recently met a guy working at Guitar Center that is a Recording Student and offered to give me a 4 hour session in the studio FOR FREE! It happens to be near San Fransisco and I scheduled it for a time when we are going to be in San Fransisco for a family trip anyways! Such a Devine moment because I've been wanting to record a specific song and get a more professional vocal on Thrive, the new song I'm working on!
The Lows seem dumb compared to all the good happening, but I think they are worth sharing.
As a creative it's SO EASY to be a perfectionist and get upset when things don't happen just the way we planned them. SO many things did not go as planned with this project, but in a strange way I think it was good for me! I had to Trust God in a way I never would have if things just worked perfectly.
I had little to no budget to work with on this EP and the fact that it was fully funded along the way is a MIRACLE. I couldn't have made that happen, in fact I tried to make it happen on my own so many times and FAILED MISERABLY. Yet these seemingly random opportunities would present themselves RIGHT at the moment I had need of them. I KNOW that isn't an accident! Just because all that breakthrough happened, doesn't mean it was easy to walk through though. I cried A LOT. I prayed A LOT. I questioned A LOT.
I currently find myself in the place of "What's next?". I released everything, now what? I don't want the buzz from this project to die off. I still want to make a music video for 20 Years From Now. I feel like there are more opportunities, but I don't know what door to knock on...
I just heard Eric Johnson say this quote at my church that I thought was perfect for where I find myself..
"When God closes one door He opens another, but it can be Hell in the hallway."
I am in the hallway, knocking on doors. I'm not where I'm supposed to be yet and it gets discouraging knocking on doors with no answer, but I've gotta keep trying.
I get choked up every. single. time. I sing a line in my new song Thrive that says:
"These dreams in my head, they seem too big, but I cannot give up on them yet.."
I can't give up. I want to give up. The discouragement swallows me up sometimes.. But I know these songs aren't just for me to sing to myself, but that they were given to me to give out, to encourage others where they are at.
So I combat the voices that tell me to quit. It's not easy, but it's so good. My faith is growing everyday and songs swell up in my heart in these moments and I know all the pain and wrestling isn't the end of the story.
The thing I'm realizing right now is how much God is working behind the scenes on my behalf. I wasn't aware of it for a long time and I think it sort of made me stressed out and made me think I had to make it all happen on my own. I'm realizing I don't have to be SO STRESSED OUT because I'm working hard, praying harder and HE'S working it all out behind the scenes. I can't even tell you how many times I've been on the other side of an impossible situation and thinking, "WOW. HOW DID I GET HERE AND HOW DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN?!?!"
SO I'll TRUST even when I can't see. I won't let fear lead me, but FAITH. I'll Trust Him in the Highs and the Lows.